The If Lands Could Kill Crew

 Photo Credit:  Peter Hellberg


 Hey everybody this is Cory a.k.a. Knifecity Alchemist. I am a nerd, geek, dork, whatever you want to call it. I'm the loud and/or obnoxious one on the cast. I enjoy video editing for this other game we play called Wahoo. I'm also the one who edits the audio. I've been clean and sober since May 4th, 2009 (Star Wars day) and I haven't shit my pants since.....well.....late 2013.

 On a quest for nerdy games to play, I started playing Magic The Gathering with the rest of the cast shortly after a few of us finished playing Risk: Legacy (I highly recommend it). I started playing during Gatecrash and have been hooked ever since. 

My first experience with Magic was Duels of the Planeswalkers 2013. I quickly favored black so the first paper deck I bought was a Dimir (blue/black) Mill intro deck. Those have been my favorite colors thus far.

After listening to the Heavy Meta and The Eh Team podcast, I decided I wanted to start my own podcast. Enlisting my long time friends, Jace (Hot Sauce), Justin (Aquickness), and Brent (Ryke), we started ILCK in February, 2014. We found this to be a perfect outlet for our long time yearning to create funny content.

Even though I would like to be more competitive, I would have to call myself a casual player. I draft on MTGO as much as I can. I get out to the locals shop for FNM every once in a while. Oh and don't forget I went 0-X at a PTQ with my lovely mill deck.

I have a handful of tier 2 standard decks and I am slowly working on building a Zombie EDH deck as well. I enjoy brewing decks and trying to make fringe playable decks work. It might be the punk rocker in me but I am not a fan of net decking. That's not a judgement on others, just my personal feelings. But then again I am not above it either.

I like listening to other podcasts such as The Eh Team, Heavy Meta, Brainstorm Brewery, The Deck Tease, and Limited Resources. 

If you would like to get a hold of me for death threats or dick pics:

MTGO: knifecityalchemist

Twitter: knife_city

 Photo Credit:  Mitya Ku

The Hot Sauce

   Hey everyone this is Hot Sauce, but coincidentally my name is actually Jace. Yep, I know, it's crazy. I got into magic the same time as the rest of these jokers, which was right after the gatecrash release. I picked up the simic starter pack, even though the LGS owner let me know it was the weakest pack, but hey who doesn't like a challenge? Plus, I'm a stubborn idiot. The evolve mechanic was actually solid, and the creatures and spells all had a lot of synergy. I had a fucking blast playing this deck. After that I started buying singles of cards that looked powerful, but were also cheap. I started my deck building and deck strategy fascination from there. 

   Deck building became my second favorite part of magic, actually playing the damn game to be the first. The decks I build usually focus on cards that play well with others, like Master Biomancer, Battlefield Thaumaturge, or Door of Destines. If ever one of these cards hits the battlefield it dramatically effects the way you are going to play your hand, but will not win you the game on it's own. That's up to you to build the deck accordingly, making sure when this card resolves you're opponent will be sorry it did.

   So that's my magic style, and that's part of what I do for ILCK. Along with the deck building, I do all the video recording/editing minus video capture over MTGO(everyone does their own). Knife and I do all the music for the podcast ourselves. Plus, if you are speaking with one of us over social media, it's most likely me.

   Other than magic, I like to rock the fuck out to metal while wailing on my Ibanez in zebra print skin tight pants (splash in a little drums and bass for good measure), drink local brew that'll put some hair on your chest,  drive fast and loud in the scooby, and maybe if I'm home I'll watch some good ol' fashion missionary pornography. I'm a simple man.

   Hope everyone is enjoying the podcast and video content so far. Please let any of us know if there is anything we can improve or anything you would like to see in the future. 



Jace aka Hot Sauce 

MTGO : tehHotSauce

Twitter : @tehHotSauce

Twitch :


 Photo Credit:  dimnikolov


A monstrous sized hello to all you ILCK-ites out there!

My name is Ryke and I am your resident turn-all-the-creatures-sideways junkie.
My colors of choice are, to no surprise to some, Red and Green.  Not only do these colors run through my veins, but they lead to some amazing 36 creature all go and no fluff worst beat downs you'll ever have in your life style decks.

I started my obsession with Magic: The Gathering back in 2013 around the time Gate-Crash set was introduced, along with my other co-casters.  I can only blame the man KnifeCity for turning me on to this wallet crushing hobby that now consumes us all and our monies.

Hopefully my insight to all things that have a power and toughness level of over "fucking/ludicrous" will aid you in your quest to turn monsters sideways and get into the kill zone.

BTW: If you're looking for some mamby-pamby control strategies on how to delay the game until your opponent flips the table over or dies of old age, turn your gaze over to my man Aquickness because you won't get those rage-inducing tips from me!

- Ryke



Samhain Crow

I'm an asshole. How's it going out there ya filthy animals?! This is Samhain Crow a.k.a. Jersey...ya ya that's my real name. My TCG experience starts back in '97 when I started playing Pokemon, and I became obsessed with it in no time. To this day I still own the entire original set. I own 2 Charizards, and if you don't think Charizard is the best Pokemon of all time then you are just wrong. I spent a lot of time in card shops buying Pokemon cards, and this is where I had discovered Magic for the first time. I played briefly during the Ice Age set, but I didn't really know how to play, nor did I have anyone to play with, so I fell out of it. 

Flash forward to M15. I started working with some dickbag named Hot Sauce and since then this game has sunk its hooks in deep and I love it! While being new, I'm still discovering what my favorite colors to play are, but as of right now I've been playing black, although I'm really starting to enjoy playing around with blue. 

So... besides all that, my wife and I got married a few years ago on Halloween, and now we have a 3 year old son, who is a total badass. Much like Knife City, I too am of the punk persuasion, and with that I leave you with my interpretation of Anarchy. Chaos : while most out there think that Anarchy is all about pure mindless destruction, I say that it is a state of mind; a choice to ask WHY? Why should I follow? Why should I take you at your word that what you say is best? Why should I listen to the shit you're force feeding me on the radio??? I say to you - think for yourself and ask why.

Jersey (Samhain Crow)

P.S. For those who don't know, Samhain is the original name for the festival of Halloween.